Second Second Date.

As you know, “Kevin” has been reading this blog since before I ever knew he existed. He enjoys it, maybe because he likes the stories, or maybe because he can relate to the whole dating as a single parent thing. The other day he text me that his favorite post happens to be the last one. He said it was, “Just beautifully written. Honest. That “Kevin” sounds like a great guy.” He then sent through a screen shot of a Skittles commercial I did in 1994, (I was an actress in my past life,) and asked if we could discuss that further. I lol’d. Hard. I replied, “You’re a psycho stalker and I like it.”
The buildup for this second date was huge. Not only did I announce to the world that I like someone and was pumped to see him again, I also made it pretty clear that this next date would include a makeout party.
I got really, really nervous.
Not the excited nervous, unfortunately. More the, “too much pressure, what am I doing,” nervous.
What if I wasn’t into him on the second date? What if I realize I’m not ready to be physical with someone?
Why do I get overwhelmed by these feelings so easily?
The fact of the matter is that I do. It’s just me.
The day of the date I dropped Willa off at my parents’ place to spend the night. It’s the second time she’s done this. I must confess, it’s incredible. Incredible! The morning after the first night she slept there I was texting my friends that I felt really guilty that I was absolutely loving my morning alone. Just unloading the dishwasher without worrying if/when she would climb inside. I drank coffee in my bed and read Facebook. I went to the gym when I felt like it. These little luxuries were divine. I stopped feeling guilty when I reminded myself that for 13 months I have gotten up with my baby EVERY SINGLE MORNING. Oh wait, I lied. I missed two mornings when I was in Palm Springs for Lisa’s bachelorette weekend. That’s still some goddamned devotion, people! A-Po deserves a morning off every 13 months or so! My parents loved every second of it and offered to do it once a week. Yeeeeehaaaawwww! I asked if Monday was too soon and they were all for it.
The date was set for 7pm and he arrived at 7pm on the dot. Very punctual indeed. He came to my door again, looked great per usual, and wore a pink shirt. I dig when dudes can pull off pink. I think I hid the fact I was a bit uneasy, and I did become more comfortable as we chatted in the car. He had a reservation at a nice restaurant called Taste on Melrose. As I’ve mentioned, I don’t love food dates when first getting to know someone. I asked if he wanted to share some things. He said yes but was acting peculiar. After he looked at the menu for a while I asked if he’s not really a “sharer?” He said he’s not going to lie to me and that he doesn’t like to share. I asked if he was a pain in the ass orderer. He said not like Sally but he is known to modify. Yada, yada, we didn’t share. Whatever. We still had a lot to talk about but it wasn’t as light as fun as it was the first time around. We did have a lot of laughs but we also got pretty deep. I know I should appreciate the deep bonding but I didn’t feel like going there. I want to have fun. Don’t get me wrong, it was still fun, just serious as well. Does that even make sense?
We left the restaurant and it was obviously assumed that he was coming back to my place because I wrote an effing blog about it. The convo at my place got intense. I don’t know if I was prepared for the intensity. It was way past my bedtime and I don’t think I had it in me. Maybe we should’ve saved all that for down the line. You know what, I should appreciate where the conversation went. It was real. I’m just not used to it this early on. Also, he is very complimentary of me. Unless he’s a complete sociopathic bullshitter, the guy thinks I’m pretty much his dream girl. Or so that’s how he made me feel. He said something about me being incredible, and that I’m like a bright light or something. Man. I wish I could give an exact quote but I don’t remember. I do remember the word “light” being used. Along with my magnificent personality, he thinks I am like super hot. Hahahah. Once again I’m laughing at myself. I can’t begin to tell you how UN-hot I think I am. I’m really insecure about my looks. As mentioned before, my husband wouldn’t even touch me with someone else’s penis, so I haven’t felt great about my physical appearance in a goodly long while. That’s an expression, by the way. There were no other penii around our marriage. The point is it’s crazy to hear someone tell me they don’t understand what was in my ex’s head because I’m so beautiful he can’t even look me in the eye sometimes. Like, so nice! So flattering! But geez, it’s hard for me to hear. I wonder if it’s for real. Is it real? Look, I’ve been working out hard. I’m eating clean again and kicking ass at it. I’m getting there for sure, but I still feel like a short haired ugly duckling.
At one point he took my hands and said something like this, and I am totally paraphrasing:
We’re both writers, I respect what you do, know how cathartic your blog is for you, and I’d never want to stifle that. I am promising to not read it anymore. You deserve to express yourself freely without having to worry about me reading it.
I belive I said something like:
That’s very sweet, but there’s no way I can trust that at this point, and I will never write anything that I wouldn’t want you to read.
I mean really? He has that much self control that he’s not going to read what I write about him? Well cheers to you, Kevin, but I don’t think it’s possible. Also, I don’t really consider myself a “writer.” He’s a successful TV writer, I write a few paragraphs for a self indulgent blog every week or so. I am uneasy that I said too much in this entry already. That he’s going to be bummed that I wished the conversation stayed light and that he was cracking me up the whole time like on the first date.
All this being said, I’m going to end here. That’s all the details you’re getting from this one. He’s great. Handsome, smart, funny, and is capable of getting into some nitty gritty heart-to-hearts. We’re going out again in a few days. “Afkah” will be watching Willa here so I will not be able to invite him up. Can you imagine if I did? Needless to say I’m not ready for them to meet yet. I suppose I could have Kevin wait in his car until Afkah leaves? Sounds stressful and I am trying to avoid those emotions.
The picture, which I hope I uploaded successfully because I always have problems with that on this site, is the image he sent me from the 1994 Skittles commercial. Taste the rainbow, my friends.
Thank you for reading!!!


One thought on “Second Second Date.

  1. Ali you are priceless and adorable and deserve to be happy I love your blog. BT W you are beautiful in short hair or long hair or any length. ❤️🙏 eileen


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